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Calm – and Poetic – Responses to Infuriating E-Mails
Since not everyone follows our Ten Commandments of Effective E-mail, you probably receive quite a few messages that are, in one way or another, flawed. As a helpful person, you naturally want to help the offending party to do better next time. But as a smart person, you know that offering such help might, itself, give offense.
With that in mind, your friends at ABC offer these responses, in limerick and haiku form, for your use. They make the point, but take a gentler tone than some of us might be inclined to use if left to our own devices.
1. Blind Lists
My email address
Exposed to all on your list
Protect me next time
2. Re: Re: Meaningful Subject Lines
When sending an email to me
Let the subject enlightening be
It should offer a clue
About what where and who
(And refrain from the vacuous “Re:”)
3. One Topic At A Time
A message with more than one part
Will delay a response from the start
One question’s a quickie
Other topics get stickie!
Split them next time if you’re smart
4. Junk Mail
A forwarded message from thee
Your intentions are good, I can see
You’re alarmed by the hoaxes
And laugh at the joaxes
But please, just don’t send them to me
5. Spell Czech
It contains misteaks
Do you want to look that bad?
One click fixes it
6. A Second Opinion
The power of words
Subject them to scrutiny
Is your meaning clear?